The Christmas Battle of 2011
Nov 22, 2011
In the evening hours of November 18, 2011, over brandy and pickled herring, two landman legends, Leighton Schroeder and Randy Fleck, being bored with the day's activities of wrestling polar bears and conquering nations, came to the conclusion that they required something more sporting to whet their appetites. Being that the Yule season was nearly upon them, they concluded that on the following morn one final fierce battle shall be laid down before the season of charity and loving thy neighbor would guilt them into friendship once again.
They determined that others should do the battling for them, being that Randy were too old, and Leighton too pretty to risk the fearsome battle themselves.
So it was decided; Randy would summon his "Chiefs", having been named this by a rare band of Pigmies they had come across in Antarctica, whom upon seeing their fearsome stature had immediately bestowed upon them the moniker of "Chiefs" in hopes that they would pass their genetic line along to the remainder of the tribe in an effort to finally defeat the ravenous Emperor penguin. Leighton, being as pretty and delicate as he was, could only wrangle a band of misfit goat herders from a local village. Though their stench of rum and cheese were enough to put fear into the heart of nearly any warrior. As Leighton's hearty group could neither read nor write, they elected to proceed without a name. They shall forever be known as "the team whose name we shall not speak".
The details of the match are far too gruesome to repeat, however after the cloud of ice and fog had settled, it was Randy's Chiefs who had defeated the team whose name we shall not speak, 11 goals to 10.
Being that no respectable gentleman dares challenge another without consequences, it was elected that the victor shall shave the others moustache to a feeble strip of fur resembling that of another defeated warrior from Deutschland, and then be paraded in front of the local business community at their annual Christmas festival later that same evening. The shame would be unbearable.
Even still, the names of the fierce competitors are whispered in hallways and dark alleys for their bravery and skill.
Randy's "Chiefs" - Justin and Joan Hozack, Mark MacDonald, Cory Lundquist, Alan Ladd, Breanne Storey, Nevin Purser, Garrett Jones, Shawn Howard, Aaron McCrea in Goal.
Leighton's "team whose name we shall not speak" - Derek Ladd, Brent Kusch, Nathan Kraft, Clint Erickson, Jim Eistetter, Todd Humeniuk, Joshua House, Chris Moger, Shayne Rhodes in Goal.